Mojito the Rat

  Ok so at school today I had a thought; get a rat. I know everybody is just like, "Eww rats, sewer-ry devil spawns!" but you know, rats are just like giant neglected hamsters. The only reason that they are out there sifting through human  feces for nourishment is because we don't provide it for them. What do you think all the parrots, iguanas, guinea pigs and ferrets would be doing if we didn't give them everything they needed!

  But that's besides the point, the point is, I want to get a rat. It will be a HE, he will be a black rat and he will be named Mojito (I think that's how I should spell it) as in what I think is an alcoholic beverage, like Moe-hee-toe. Anyways, i'll adopt him at birth so I'm the only thing he ever knows and i'll potty train him, train him to run around in the special cloth pockets and tunnels i'll sew in all my clothes and to stick his head out of my pocket when I say, "Out Mojito!". We'll watch TV together, him with his little rat popcorn and me with my regular human popcorn, and he'll like have little ramps everywhere so he can get up onto things, like my kitchen counter, and he can watch me cook, while in a little Ratatouilli costume, and when it's time for bed, i'll teach him to brush his little rat teeth, and he'll curl up on top of my head at night and go to sleep, and in the morning when he wants me to get up he'll jump up and down on my chest, sqeaking like crazy! We will live our lives together. But don't worry Indie, no rat will ever replace you.

Now if only my parents would let me get one. :(